Freedom to Fashion: And I had a feeling that I belonged.... And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone....

I have been back to Morocco for 4 years now. So much has happened. I worked as a professor (teaching international business to a bunch of college sophomores), interned at IOM (International Organization for Migration), worked at MVC (my brother's gym), managed a nightclub, got married, moved to Marrakech and started my fashion line. 4 years feels like a lifetime and it's funny that I still feel like an outsider in my own country.

I'm not sure what it is. As an "RAS" (Rabat American School) graduate, we seem to think that the American system was the best and worst thing that ever happened to us. My mother calls us the sect and I am starting to agree with her. We are so alienated from the rest of Moroccan society, we seem awkward and borderline crazy to outsiders. RAS was a blessing because I have kept so many amazing friendships and we have values and principles that I see disappearing more and more from other systems (french and moroccan schools). We are unique and special but at the same time, we do not fit in anywhere else but our little RAS circle. We only feel in our element when surrounded by our English speaking kind.

I look at the rest of the world (and the world I am referring to here is my world in Morocco) and I feel so different from all of them. I love my country with all my heart. I just don't really fit in it. I'm a little piece of a missing puzzle trying to find her way in an unfamiliar territory.

The closest I get to a sense of belonging is during my photoshoots, when my pieces are complete after days and weeks of designing, of going back and forth to check the details, of making sure my vision became concrete. When I see my designs on a model and then on pictures, they become real, they become alive, I become alive. Then I have a feeling that I belong and a feeling that I could be someone....